''Love is a big sacrifice, isn't it? You try to forgive and forget, but you still give it a try. You are hurt, but you still continue to love. You were betrayed, but you still hope. And the big hit? You have been left, but you still wait.''

Found this on my fb, posted by a friend of mine. By reading this, suddenly tears came out.. i know i'm not well prepared for losing him. For sure, sooner or later, he'll marry her. The day surely will arrive.. and i wish i'll be brave enough, I wish i'll not do something stupid as there is a long journey to go, and the most important thing is i'll always wish the best for him. Always.

Eh enough of crying. Last Sunday, a doctor at rumah solehah said that when we are sad, our CD4 will decrease and it will affect our health.. so just try to be happy, do something that can help us to smile which will increase our CD4 and boost up our health. The thing is, i'm not sure how to do it because the only person that can help me to have the real smile is him but then he no longer mine..

I found this on my twitter. Retweeted by one of my friend.

Do you know something? It's so true..damn true.

the first thing came into my mind when i woke up this morning was what i had done yesterday. It never been the right thing for me. I knew it well, but i keep doing it. Now i'm a bad girl who not being fair to herself. Leaving is the only option but i have no courage to do so. I'll feel so empty without him.

Somehow, somewhere i know that what i'm doing now is not a right way. And it never ever been the right way for me. But i told myself that this is the only way.

I walked from office to lrt station alone today. Lia got a DATE with her big bro that ask her to accompany him for a dinner. Untunglaa. As i walked along the road near to the primary school, there were few kids playing around while waiting for their school bus arrive. From far away, i can see how happy they are as they were jumping here and there and laughing together. One of them hold a book which i guess she must be the master mind of the game. I'm not sure what game they were playing but they seems to have enjoyed it very much. While i getting nearer to them, they stop the game for a while. They looked so shy as they notice that i had watched them just now. I smiled at them and they were smiling back at me. Suddenly one of the girl said 'sis, you can also join us to play this game', and followed by laughter from her friends. I keep smiling and walk passed them by and they continue the game.

These kids just remind me to Azim & Lily. Remember? They were two adorable kids next door when i was staying at Shah Alam last year. I wonder what they are doing right now. Are they still playing hide and seek? Are they still playing cards in front of my house? Are they still using the same mat? Are they still playing football there? Oh, i miss them so much.

Ouh, i miss him too. And more importantly, i do love him so much. If only he know that. :'(

can i reply his 'so?' with 'i really miss you, can we meet?'

cik zana & kak meera

cik zana & miss goh

2 keping je okeh. sedih ase. ta sempat2 nak menggedik lebih sebab bz yang amat. disebabkan aku hanyalah bilis, pakai apa yang ade je ye. itu pun nasib baik ade.huuuu.